“A ship in port is safe,
but that’s not what ships are built for.”

-Grace Murray Hopper

Today I would like to talk about a topic I think every one
of us can relate to. 

Fear.

The dictionary defines fear as: noun 1. an anxiety caused
by real or possible danger 2. pain, apprehension, concern

At one time or another we have all experienced the emotion
of fear.

There are so many variations of fear. Fear of the unknown,
fear of events outside of our control, fear of failure,
fear of success, fear of intimacy, fear of people who are
different from us, fear of ______(fill in the blank)_______.

I have found that at it’s very core, fear is simply a signal
or a call to action.  The ultimate purpose of fear is to
serve you.

There are two kinds of fear, what I call Stage 1 Fear and
Stage 2 Fear.

Stage 1 Fear is very real. It’s the fear that calls for
immediate action, for example, when your life or safety is
in immediate danger.  This is an all-consuming fear that
intuitively grips your gut, without thinking.  For example
when you’re walking down a dark street and you sense
danger. I mean it’s very serious and should not be ignored.
This fear most definitely serves you.

Stage 2 Fear, on the other hand is a little more
mysterious.  It surfaces whenever you move outside of your
comfort zone or  try something you’ve never done before.
For some it is a fear of flying, fear of heights, fear of
roller coasters, fear of being married, fear of being
divorced, fear of starting a business, fear of starting a
new career, fear of learning a new skill, etc.

Becoming aware of the two different kinds of fear allows
you to take a step back anytime you feel afraid so that you
can evaluate how it can serve you.  You can ask yourself, is
this stage 1 fear where I need to take immediate action,
disengage or change course -or- is this stage 2 fear, where
I am simply being faced with the opportunity of moving
beyond my comfort zone.

Stage 1 is usually a warning that requires immediate
attention, while Stage 2 Fear can actually be an invitation
towards something that is ultimately good for you.

Yes, it’s true, you can actually feel afraid of something
that is GOOD for you. 

You can be afraid of falling in love, speaking in front of
an audience, meeting new people, trying something you have
never tried before, starting a business, and so on.

Here is an example.

When I was 13 years old, in the 7th grade, myself and my
entire peer group spent our summer days at the park
district swimming pool.  There were actually 2 pools.  A
shallow pool for the little ones and a pool that had a
graduated depth from 3 feet to 15 feet where the diving
boards where.

Swimming pools are fantastic.  And being a kid, sun and fun
all summer long, what more could you ask for, right?

One tiny little problem… at 13 years old, I did not know
how to swim.

As all of my friends were swimming away into the deep end,
I was left clinging to the side of the pool in the shallow
end, terrified to let go. 

Now let me be clear.  As my friends swam away, I was
without a doubt feeling Stage 1 Fear. I had every reason to
be afraid.  It would not have been wise to follow them into
the deep end at that time.

Being in any body of water, not knowing how to swim is
dangerous and potentially life threatening. Anything that
can end in serious injury or death should not be taken
lightly.  But there are risks involved in anything worth
doing in life.  I could have abstained from the activity
all together forever, but spending the rest of my life in
the kiddie pool was not appealing to me.  Forget about the
peer pressure, or the other kids making fun of me, I can
handle that.  But I could not handle missing out on all of
the fun they were having.  I did not want to go on one more
day, not to mention the rest of my life not knowing how to
swim. 

I was staring in the face of the “Terror Barrier”

More on that later.

But at that moment, I made a decision.  I set a Goal and
decided I would learn how to swim.

Here is what I did:

Step 1. I asked my friends to swim past me in the shallow
end, while I held my nose and went underwater to see what
their arms and legs were doing as they swam by.  I observed
that the arms were doing one thing and the legs were doing
another thing and I thought hmmm, maybe I could do this.

Step 2. I went to the lifeguards and asked them to watch me
while I held onto the wall, where I proceeded to kick my
legs like my friends had done.  Interestingly, when I did
this I became somewhat buoyant. 

Step 3.  I let go of the wall and swam a few feet out.
Then I swam back to the wall.  Imagine my surprise, I was
actually doing it, I was SWIMMING!

I don’t know if you know how to swim or how you learned,
but sometimes the longer you wait, the harder it becomes.
Seriously, that imaginary barrier can play tricks with your
mind if you don’t keep it in check.  I went from feeling
terrified, wishing I could swim, to deciding I would learn,
then taking immediate action to make it reality, all within
a few hours.

And by the end of the day, I was swimming in the deep end
and about a month later, I was jumping off the diving
boards in the deepest part of the pool. In fact, it was not
pretty or efficient, but I was swimming good enough to get
where I wanted to go.

The purpose of fear is to serve you.

The “Terror Barrier” is an imaginary line.

On one side is you and where you are now.

On the other side is your dream, your Goal.

Most people turn back when they reach the Terror Barrier.
They say, “no, I am too afraid, I am frozen, I’m turning
back and staying in my comfort zone where I feel safe.” And
they never step over the line to find out what they are
truly capable of.  They can’t see beyond the current
fright, when what is on the other side is so good.

But…

You cannot live your entire life holding on to the edge of
the pool.

Some of you are in an illusion that you are in Stage 1
Fear, you are terrified, but you actually in Stage 2 Fear,
with the perception of Stage 1.  You’re at the Terror
Barrier.

It’s just a matter of going beyond where you are now.

Put your safeguards in place whenever you can, find
yourself a mentor or coach and create a plan of action for
your Goal and start going after what you want. Whenever
possible, model those who went before you.

Now that I understand it, I have run ins with the
Terror Barrier on a daily basis. There are constantly new
things I want to learn or do that are waaaay outside of my
comfort zone.  I acknowledge the fear, evaluate the
situation and break through it. 

Just like when I learned how to swim, it’s not always
pretty, but it’s good enough to get me where I want to go.

Most of the fear and worry people give their energy to is a
figment of their imagination.  99% of the worries and
anxiety of the world never happen. 

Stop wasting energy being paralyzed by fear.

“A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built
for.”   -Grace Murray Hopper

Allow your fear to serve you.

Think of what dreams of yours have led you to the brink of
the Terror Barrier where you turned away?  Was this truly a
Stage 1 fear or was it Stage 2 (an illusion) ?

Write it down and email it to me if you’re ready to
break through it and make the dream a reality.

Live Your Dreams,

Jill Koenig

http://www.GoalGuru.com

Jill Koenig, the “Goal Guru” is America’s Top Goal Strategist.
A best selling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker, she is
an expert on the subjects of Goal Setting, Time Management and
Business Success. Her Goal in life is to help you UNLEASH your
untapped potential. Learn cutting edge Goal Strategies at
http://www.GoalGuru.com

Media Requests: Jill Koenig is a dynamic high energy tv and
radio guest available for interviews and corporate speaking
engagements.

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